ソフィーと私
ハワイのとある映画館では毎年この季節になるとジブリ映画が公開される。今年はスケジュールも合い、Spirited Away（千と千尋の神隠し）とHowl's moving castleを観賞。久しぶりに見たこともあってか、自分が大人に？なってか色々と思うところが。
In this summer season, we get to watch some Ghibli movies in the theater. This year my schedule worked and I watched 'Spirited Away' and 'Howl's moving castle'. It's been a while since I watched these movies the last time and maybe I have grown since then, I thought about many things.
特にハウルの動く城ではソフィーが帽子屋で働くことについて’お父さんの店だから’とか’長女だから’というセリフがひどく印象に残る。（長女には長女の苦労がよく分かる。映画の中での次女との生活や性格の違いも）
Especially in Howl's moving castle, what Sophie said about working at a hat shop gave me a great impression. She said that she works there because that's her father's shop and she is the oldest. ( I really understand what feels like being an oldest.)
大学生の時、高校からの友人が大学院を海外で行くということを伝えられ、私も海外への憧れがありそれをすごく羨ましく思いつつ、私は無理だと友人に告げた。その時その友人に’何で？’と聞かれ、’親とかおばあちゃんとかが許さないと思う’と答えた。
When my friend told me that he was going to take a master course in a foreign country, I envied him and told that I could never do it. He asked me,' why not?' I told him that my parents or grandparents wouldn't allow me to do it.
それから数年後渡米することを決意し、親に相談するもなかなか理解を得られず。親の気持ちも分からないでもない。社会人になって間も無く、何の保証もない海外に行くなんて。特に海外で仕事をしてきた父にとっては、海外で生きていく厳しさを知っていたはず。でも気持ちは変わらず、親に相談することもなく仕事を辞め、半勘当状態で渡米。
A couple years later, I decided to go to the United States. I told what I was thinking to my parents, but it was so hard for them to understand. I get what they think. I was just out being a student and started working. Especially my dad was used to work in different countries, so he knew how hard to make a living in a foreign country. I couldn't change my mind, so I quit my job and came here without getting any allowance by them.
自分の中ではこの時大きなターニングポイントだったと思う。いろんな人の反対や賛成を受け、家族からに反対は特に心痛かったが、自分の人生のために自分で選択し、決意した瞬間。’誰々がこういったから’という自分に対して無責任な人生を辞めた瞬間だったと思う。
I believe that was my turning point. People said things. Some of them supported me, some didn't. It was heartbreaking that my family didn't agree with what I want to do. However, that was the moment that I chose my life for myself, not by what others think.
映画のあとパートナーにソフィーの呪いは解けたのかな？と尋ねると、彼は’呪いが解ける解けないの話ではなくて自己肯定感の強さの程度がソフィーがおばあちゃんになったり、若い姿に戻ったりしていたことを現してたんじゃない？’と。やけに納得。ソフィーがハウルを信じ、ハウルを信じる自分を信じる気持ち、自分に正直になれる気持ちを取り戻していった姿には学ぶものが多いと思う。
After watching the movie, I asked my partner if Sophie was free from the magic that she was on. He said he thought that it's not about she was not on the magic anymore but how she feels about herself; self-esteem. She believed Howl, and she also believed her who believed Howl. I think we can learn a lot from her who started being honest with herself.
